The Drongo Wrap-Up: Round 5, Lions Roar, Groggy Steele

The Drongo Wrap-Up: Round 5, Lions Roar, Groggy Steele

This article is part of our The Drongo Wrap-Up series.

It was an emotional round in the AFL, with highs and drastics lows. Brisbane shot up the ladder with a dominant win over the first-place Power.  Super star rookie Matt Rowell got injured. And the bad news continues for Collingwood as everyone's favorite, Steele Sidebottom, gets a four round suspension for a rough night with the grog.  Put on some Colin Hay and let's dive into the details of Round 5:


  1. Max Gawn, MEL, 131 DraftKings Fantasy Points
  2. Brodie Grundy, COL, 113 DK FP's
  3. Timothy English, WES, and Rowan Marshall, STK, both with 99 DK FP's

Big Value: English, 99 DK FP's at $6,300 (15.7x)

English and Grundy appear on this list for a second week in a row, with Grundy having to pick up the slack due to Steele Sidebottom's suspension (more on that later). One must assume Timothy English will come at a higher salary next week with the Bulldogs facing Carlton. Gawn put up a valiant effort (33 hitouts, 22 disposals) for the Demons despite Melbourne getting thrashed by the Tigers.  Gawn and his lumberjack worthy beard discussed the disappointing loss just after the game:


  1. Lachie Whitfield, GWS, 101 DraftKings Fantasy Points
  2. David Swallow, GC, and Tom Hawkins, GEE both with 94 DK FP's
  3. Hugh McCluggage, BRI, 90 DK FP's

Big Values:  Harrison Himmelberg, GWS with 84 points at $3,200 (26.3) and Josh Bruce, WES with 83 points at $3,300 (25.2x)

Big ups to McCluggage and the Lions for dominating the first-place Port Adelaide Power at The Gabba. The two squads are now tied at the top of the ladder. If you can understand what Mitch Robinson is saying, good on you mate:

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How'd you like that, fans? 😬 @mitchrobinson

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Josh Bruce was deadly accurate with six goals on six attempts:

In depressing injury news, the AFL might be missing it's best mullet for a while. Sensational sophomore Bailey Smith suffered a concussion against the Kangaroos and missed the rest of the match:

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Bailey Smith got CRUNCHED. 💀

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I hope this doesn't disqualify him from Australian Mullet Fest 2020:



  1. Josh Kelly, GWS, 116 DraftKings Fantasy Points
  2. Dylan Shiel, ESS, 112 DK FP's
  3. Jack Steele, STK, 110 DK FP's

Big Value:  Kane Lambert, RIC 105 DK FP's at $4,600 (22.8x)

Yeah, yeah, great games by Kelly, Shiel, etc. , blah blah blah.  But Matthew Rowell WAS INJURED!!!  This totally cracks the shits!!!  Looks like severe shoulder issue:

If anyone doubted that Satan is in charge of 2020, I submit this video!  The injury looked very similar to the shoulder injury Gary Ablett suffered while with the Suns.  Ablett showed Rowell some support on the field post-game, because the Little Master is a friggin' class act.


  1. Nick Haynes, GWS, 115 DraftKings Fantasy Points
  2. Harry Perryman, GWS, 112 DK FP's
  3. Bradley Sheppard, WC 92 DK FP's

Big Value:  Ben McEvoy, HAW with 81 FP's at $3,100 (26.1x)

Noticing a pattern with our best performers? Yes, the Giants spanked Hawthorne on Sunday, with Haynes, Perryman, Kelly and Whitfield all putting up huge DK points. 

Sheppard certainly had a great game for the Eagles, but we gotta check out this screamer from Tom Barrass:

Sure, it's bad to get speckied, but for Swan's Jordan Dawson to get "BARRASS" speckied must be particularly embarrassing. No one wants a Barrass on their shoulders.

The Eagles crushed the Swans.  LA correspondent Bill Sperling believes the Swans might be the shortest team in the AFL.  "Their ruck play is terrible. They desperately need a big forward to snag some key, center 50 marks."  Bill also points out that Swan Nick Blakey (#22) might be the Bill Lambeer of the AFL. He does seem to whine and cheat a bit – good point Bill.  Probably due to Blakey's Dad being on the Swan's coaching panel. Coach's kids are a pain in the arse.

Bill also thinks the Eagles have the best mullets in the AFL, but I think the Bulldog's Smith just said "hold my coldie":

It looks like the Eagles have lost midfielder Luke Shuey for a couple of weeks due to a hamstring injury.  The announcers appeared to hope it was a concussion, as that might mean Shuey would be out for a shorter period of time.  Yay, concussions!  (Note sarcasm).  SMH.


Am I the only fan devastated by Steele Sidebottom's four round suspension?  I love this sweet bastard!  As a bloody seppo, I feel like Sidebottom's drunken disorderly was classic Aussie Footy bad boy behavior. And the explanation from Collingwood President Eddie McGuire is pure fair dinkum gold.  CLICK HERE TO SEE IT.

FOX TV HOST: "Is Collingwood Clear on how [Sidebottom] was semi-naked and in a police car?" EDDIE:  "Yeah, the Old Fashioned was asleep on the couch, got up to go to the bathroom, and walked out the wrong door. It's happened plenty of times; it's happened to plenty of big names...He had a bad night on the grog, it's as simple as that". Oh my goodness, what I would do to hear American sports presidents talk like that.  Still, this adds to a horrible 10-day mess for the Black and White.  Fox's Tom Morris describes the Pies' "nosedive" rather well here.  Here is an amusing video with the above quote:

In happier news, the Geelong Cats celebrated two big milestones this round.  Legend Gary Ablett played his 350th game.  The Little Master became the all-time AFL leader in handballs.  And teammate Joel Selwood (22 disposals, eight tackles) played his 300th match. The milestones were that much sweeter with a big win over Suns.  As nod to those two studs, we'll end things with the Geelong Fight Song, and the Ladder:

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An early RotoWire contributor from the 90's, K-Train returns with the grace of Gheorghe Muresan and the wisdom of Joe Gibbs. Tweet @KenCrites or e-mail at Ken won the FSWA 2014 Humor Article Of The Year award. He's also the 2016 Champion of the prestigious RW NBA Keeper League and the 2019 Champion of the RW NFL Ottonue Keeper League. Ken still owns a RotoNews shirt.
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